Saturday, the one day out of the week reserved for you. The day you’re supposed to sleep in, go to the gym, go to Target then hit the gym, a day that should be relaxing above all else. Well I spent my Saturday apartment hunting.
I know it may come off like I’m about to start to rant unnecessarily, trust me I’m not. I am very lucky, my situation is not unfortunate. As I went along viewing place after place, I felt like I was going on a bunch of endless Tinder dates. From the one that looked nothing like the pictures, to the luxurious apartment that left me contemplating selling my kidney. To say the least, I was exhausted.
What’s funny though, out of all the places, not once did I think to myself “I could make this work.” I either thought “love it,” or “no,” which is very unlike my selectivity when it comes to dating. I’m not saying I date everyone on the planet but when a guy says “I don’t want a relationship,” I see it as “I can convince him” or “I want us to be friends,” as “awe he wants me that badly in his life,” rather than thinking he’s just not that into you.
In the past three weeks I have had not one, but four guys from my past reached out to me, seeming to have hopes of renewing an old lovers lease. As they were all knocking on my door I asked myself why? Was it that cold outside? Did they have nowhere else to go? Or did they realize a part of them missed,home, the familiar, I mean after all I get it, part of me just wants to give up the search of finding a new place and live in my place forever.
Then I thought about each time I let them back in, they completely destroyed the place and I was the one who had to clean it up the mess. Whatever I was to them, it wasn’t enough for any one of them to keep me in the first place, so why give them another chance? I don’t know, maybe I’m a studio in most people’s minds, but I’m a damn decent studio. One with hardwood floors, a walk in closet and maybe a cute patio. You know the kind in a good neighborhood, with a San Francisco backdrop.
I’ll update you all on when I find a place, I may have put in an application today but like after a good first date, I don’t want to jinx it. As for a man.. well.. wherever you are someone new or someone from my past, I can’t wait till we connect but in the meantime, this house is becoming a home.
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