Everyone says it; your parents, your teachers, your aunts and uncles. They all say your 20s are the best years of your life. I just wanna know, why and how?! The only logical explanation I can think of is maybe they’re just remembering it wrong. Maybe they’re repressing the bad memories from their 20s so much, they can only come up with the most inaccurate way to describe the years. Or maybe times were just better then. No matter what reason they have, they’re simply wrong. I mean come on, if these years are going to be the best of my life, life really must suck.
Okay, I guess I’m being dramatic. As a 21 year old, I don’t hate my life or anything. I actually really love my life, but I’m just waiting for it to get even better. Another common belief that “college is the best four years of your life” is also completely mistaken. Entering college freshman year was terrible, I mean I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I developed anxiety disorder just from the massive changes I was going through. Having to leave the only home I’d ever known for eighteen years of my life, my whole life, and having to relocate without my parents?
To take classes I had no idea how to get through? And having to make all new friends? Yeah, right. Just getting a whole new bedroom was stressful beyond belief. I was excited for the new freedom, but I found myself just wanting to cuddle at home with my dog at the end of the night. It was cool getting to have friends over whenever I wanted, not having to ask permission to have sleepovers, and irresponsibly drinking until the crack of dawn. But what wasn’t cool was having to wake up the next morning for my 9 A.M. and doing homework the rest of the day with a severe hangover. I know, my fault, but isn’t that what your 20s are about; learning?
The whole learning thing sounds fun in theory, but I’m over it. I don’t mean learning in one subject, or learning about the world around me, but I mean just learning who I am as a person. I get that that journey never really ends, and that a person can be ever-changing for their whole life, but your 20s are just way too overwhelming in that department. I had to figure out a major, where I wanted to live during school, how to drink responsibly (still working on that one), what types of relationships I’m into, who I’m even into, how to be independent, etc.
The sad part is it’s only going to get harder from here! Within the next few years, I need to find out what I want to do with my major, find job(s), pick somewhere to live, and ultimately figure out what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. It’d also be cool if I could get engaged before I’m thirty, so hopefully my 30s aren’t as rough as my 20s. Is that not a scary thing to anyone else?! I know it has to be.
College has been a completely overwhelming, stressful trip of insanity, and I still haven’t even graduated yet. Of course, I’ve made some amazing memories with some great friends, and I totally don’t regret going, I mean, what else would I do? But besides the great times, there have been some completely awful ones. From stressing beyond belief with anxiety, exams, eating disorders, relationships, my GPA, and now applying for jobs, my early 20s have not been so wonderful.
I know I still have plenty of more years (UGH), but I just can’t see it getting less stressful. I wish I could fast forward to my 30s, at least just to see a preview of my life. Having real life adult responsibilities seems enjoyable to me, like being stable with a job you like, having a loving spouse, the beauty of having children, and so on. I don’t want the freedom to stay out all night at the club or have the time to sleep all weekend. Okay, obviously that’s very nice, but I want more purpose in life than this. I want to be settled down and comfortable, not having anxiety attacks over every single little detail of my life that changes at a rapid pace. I know whoever is reading this is probably going to tell me I need a reality check, and that I’m in my best years right now. But, really, I am skeptical.