Why I’m Sick of The ‘Confidence is Sexy’ Movement

Don’t take this the wrong way. Don’t scan the title and think that I’m some sort of sick and twisted bully that gets off on people’s insecurities and inner turmoil. I applaud those that have fully embraced the idea of loving their flaws and good qualities alike. And I really do hope that everyone won’t let what others say about their outward or inward appearance diminish their self confidence. However, I think that society pushes on us all to make everyone feel as if we ought to always be on the verge of a group hug. It has gone to a point where it is now redundant and overdone. It has gone to the point that I am annoyed.

Telling women that confidence is beautiful and important isn’t wrong or bad on any spectrum, and by all means, is correct. However, telling women that having no confidence or being openly insecure or not being completely comfortable with who they are, is by all means, very wrong. It’s absurd to tell people that it’s unattractive when someone comes across as not confident or a little itchy in their own skin. That’s not only not true, but that’s also not fair.

Reminding people that their insecurity isn’t what people like or are attracted to is only fueling the lack of self esteem that’s already there. Telling teenage girls that boys are attracted to confidence will not make them love themselves anymore than telling them that hopefully one day they’ll lose their baby fat or grow into their forehead.

Telling people to love themselves or to magically gain confidence does nothing. It does not make them walk with their head held high, and it does not make them see themselves any different when falling short to their peers. Stop telling people that not having confidence isn’t sexy. Stop reminding me to love myself. Stop scolding others and suggesting that being insecure is unattractive. Their insecurity over their freckles or their hips or their laugh is not something that can be changed by celebrities with a make-up artist and personal trainer demanding that we ‘love ourselves’ or that ‘men love confidence’.

People will grow out of their insecurities; not because people find it more attractive, or they grow tired of groaning when they stare at their bare stomach. They’ll learn on their own time.