Living in Los Angeles, I’ve come to the conclusion that falling in love is a lot like driving into traffic. Right when you have somewhere important to be, it hits you head on. Love always seems to happen when you least expect it, when you least need it, when you are focused on making it to your destination.
The one time you decide to stick to the route, you find yourself “hit” by love. Blindsided by you didn’t calculate the delay into your foolproof itinerary. Yet there is no denying it. Maybe it’s all an illusion and if you just itch that scratch with someone else you will forget about what’s causing you to slow down. Love will make you reevaluate your route.
I thought about the love I’ve had in my life and where it has taken me. While eating my 10th Oreo, I realized that my ex was not in love with me. I wasn’t in love with him. As simple as that seems our relationship was very complicated. It dawned on me, I was doing anything he asked, hoping he would change, all the while he was desperately trying to change me, hoping I would become what he needed. You can’t buy an SUV hoping it’ll turn into a Hunmer.
When I decided to move to Los Angeles, he was the one asking “why” and questioning my aspirations. When I needed a cheerleader he was always cheering for the away team. The love of my life didn’t approve of my aspirations, because they didn’t fit in with his. My ride or die was no longer in the passenger seat. When you love someone, you don’t prevent them from getting where they need to go. You get in their car and ask if you can join them on the journey.
Loving someone means giving them the freedom to be who they are, not trying to mold them into something that works for you and your lifestyle.
We are all hoping to meet the one who can be exception. The one that makes your engine start. The kind of lover who makes you forget all of your wasted trips and failed adventures in love. Working out all the details in our heads, obsessing over where we will end up in the end.
Constantly on the search for our everlasting love, we fail to realize that we are so hung up on the final chapter (especially women and our damn Pinterest boards) that we forget the journey.
Yes, sometimes the book is over and sometimes there is a sequel, but guessing how it will end doesn’t give reason for you to believe you will no story to tell.
Many say they have been “unlucky” when it comes to love, because they have been hurt or they date the “wrong” person. I believe I have been lucky in love. Despite being hurt through my past experiences, I keep finding myself believing that there is a reason to keep driving. Despite the many dead ends we may face, we can always turn around and find a different street to take.
I’ve come to learn life never goes according to plan and thank goodness. Can you imagine if you got everything you thought you wanted? Don’t worry about your destination, you will get there. No matter how long it takes, we each reach our destinations when we are meant to. If you have reached tough traffic in the meantime, just know this, as long as the person is turning the volume a little louder and encouraging you to keep going, then you have no reason to be afraid of the drive ahead. Red lights and five o’clock traffic don’t last forever. Buckle up and love yourself and enjoy the journey of love. Love can outlast any traffic light.
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